I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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