I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
