it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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