your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
