Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
