The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
