conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
