I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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