You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
