I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
