Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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