Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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