your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
