I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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