I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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