I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
