Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize