We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
