did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need moral support for this bender
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
