I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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