She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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