Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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