Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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