There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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