Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
