someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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