I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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