I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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