hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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