im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize