What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize