I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
