Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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