After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sober January is a disaster.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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