She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
