i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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