At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
