I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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