I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
