Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize