I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
