DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
