He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
