i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
