i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
