how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
