but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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