i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My vagina is very pro this idea
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
