Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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