Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
