She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
