The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
