This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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