Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
